Since then every week I visited my gynae.
By 5 weeks(gestational) or 7 weeks (if counting from the first day of my last period, first week of Fed 2007), my sickness morning was surfaced but still bearable.
Our little embryo Max was still about a week smaller than its actual size and heartbeat was weak. And I had spotting and I was given some medication, which I was relunctant to take, and a weekly hormone injection, for 4 weeks, to boost my pregnancy hormone.
Later it was found that the spotting was due to uterus infection. More medications, antibiotics. Meanwhile with the hormone boost, Max's heartbeat was getting stronger.
However the worse has yet to come. Morning sickness became me and had to resort to anti-vomitting tablets.
Also I was getting bad nasal blocked. Sleepless nights and sleepy days. And more medicines.
This second pregnancy was like a riding rollercoaster, another spotting at week 16, which turned to be a false alarm. It was some kind hormone adjustment after I stopped my hormone pills. Then fear of baby Max having some birth defects and so on.
I have to say during that time, I couldn't myself whining and complaining about all those discomforts. But looking back I'm grateful that everything turned out alright, with a healthy baby in return.
So when most initial doubts were finally cleared, new worries; can I have a natural birth since I had a caeserean? It clouded my mind till the morning I was in labour, as my gynae also couldn't guarantee. Many times I asked her. But she didn't really answer my questions, even at my last follow-up. I knew that she didn't want to overpromise me.
I understand that all these pregnancy and childbirth issues are at will of God and blessing. No one knows what can happen. So the whole time I was praying. Hoping for an easy natural birth. I didn't want to go through another caeserean. As I fear most in caeserean is the pain when a urine bag was attached to my bladder and pulled out. Gosh! That short but sharp pain with possible bladder infection. I still can remember it clearly.
When the day finally came, that Saturday, when I had bloody show, I was having this fear inside me. I was wondering if I couldn't have a natural birth. I was praying for my water bag not to break before major dilation.
My gynae had warned me that I couldn't opt for epidural, due to my caeserean wound. She said most gynae prefer not to have that as if the wound give way, the mother would feel it.
While I was in labour ward waiting for the first stage labour to happen, I was praying and talking to Max, telling him to relax and take things easy. Just take one step at a time. He heard me I guess.
The contraction was there all the while but it was mild and I couldn't recogise it. Now I know what is contraction. I didn't really have it when I had Natalie.
Since my water bag was in tact, my gynae allowed me to wait for the real thing to happen... to be continue.
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