To moon and back again:)

29 July 2011

It's been a long while since my last post, back in Oct 2008.

During these 2 years plus, many things had happened. Many I have lost count, but here are some major happenings which had made me who am I today. Also, reasons why I decided to reignited this blog.

1. The two little ones have grown up quite a bit and now attending kiddy.
Natalie is now 5 and Max is turning 4 in Nov.

2. Early 2009, we went to Langkawi with our in-laws.

It was a fun trip. Max's first time on a plane. He was alright. No fuss. And everyone had great fun during the trip.

3. My father has left us in March 2009, to be reunited with mom in a far far away land. It was sooner than I expected. Again reminded me, 'Life's short.'

4. In November 2009, we had our first little family trip, only 4 of us, to Melbourne to visit the my siblings.

During that 7 hours flight, it was a nightmare. Both kids were making lots of fuss. I had to carrying them on my laps(they took turn to sit). I almost cried towards the end of the flight. Till finally we were there.

Another nightmare, Max refused to be strapped in baby seat. By the end of the trip he actually learned to sit contentedly in the car seat. And we had no problem strapping him down in car seat since then.

With the kids, we didn't get to go a lot of places. But then, it was quite an experience for us, now that I look back.

5. Natalie has started her ballet class since last June. She is enjoying it.

It's been a year since then. End of this year, she will be performing in the year end concert.

6. Max started going to kiddy. I have no choice as he was getting bored at home and giving the in-laws a hard time. Terrible two.

His first 3 days were alright. But after that he refused to go back.

7. Natalie showed signs of disliking her old kiddy, because teachers' problem.

8. Found another kiddy. At first, I had doubt about it. But after a week, Natalie grew to love it. The teachers are patient, loving, good with children and their number of children are way smaller than any other kiddy. And they could managed Max.

First 3 days, he was crying when I left him there. On the fourth day, he was happily going to kiddy without fuss. And most importantly he learned a lots from there. It was surely a blessing.

7. Early this year, Natalie and I have been going for Yamaha JMC for the last 6 months. I wasn't thinking about it till a friend who convinced me to send Natalie there. But it's proven worthy and fun that I'm able to learn and play piano together with Natalie.

8. Max is diagnosed of having mild autism during Chinese New Year, highly functional though. We had him assessed by a clinical psychologist. And we were shocked but have learned to accept the truth and deal with it.

Also, I began to understand why I always felt that Max is a little different.

Well, it's a disorder that has no cure, but we can certainly help him to learn to do better.

9. Therefore, we have been sending to Early Intervention Program(EIP) since May.

10. Max has improved greatly in language and behaviour, with the assistance of his kiddy teachers and the EIP teachers .He gradually moved out from his two- years-old toddler-hood. It's little late but he did it.

He's now a little cheeky, chatty, joyful boy who started to ask 'Why this?' or 'Why that?'

11. Since the kids started their new kiddy, I have became their chauffeur. Life became different. I spent more time with the kids on the road.

With Max going EIP, I have a lot more running around to do.

12. Meanwhile I became more aggressive at work after certain management restructure. Also I started a company with some friends.

13. Also, I began to question my ability at work. Am I still fit as a designer though I have been promoted a senior position.

14. I took a month off(unpaid) to rethink of my future.

15. I decided to go and seek help from counselor in order to regain my self-confidence.

16. Later found out I had a relapse. Back on medication.

17. Finally I decided I must move on. Two months ago, I submitted my resignation letter.

After I submitted my letter, I realised that I have nothing to lose but everything and more to gain. And I feel better as an individual.

18. Today, I'm a full time mother who plans my children daily activities and learning materials, freelance designer who want to try to stand on her own and trying out different things and one of 4 little owners of a company.

There's a saying;: One has to let go in order to gain more.

After almost a month of relaxing and spending more time with my children, I find that my mind is freer and I have ideas popping more often than before. It's because I can concentrate in the life I want.

19. I'm back and hope to share on how I learn deal Max's autism with optimism.

Max is the key reason I made my decision and found myself.

20. I didn't go to the moon, though it felt like I did:)

Startup Camp KL 2008

Happy Halloween to everyone.

It's been a while since my last post which was dates in July. Been months. Many things had happened, and yet many things has happened, which meant to happen. But that's not the reason I blog today, apart my inner guilt for not blogging here for so long.

Anyway, time flies. Maximillian is going to be 1 years old in 10 days time. And today is my bosom pal's beautiful son, Luke's 1st birthday. Happy Birthday to Luke. May he grows up as cheerful and beautiful as the mother.

O.k. the real thing: Startup Camp KL 2008. This is it.

What's Starup CampKL08?
Nope, it's not some outward bound school camp, neither it's a summer camp, nor a camp fire. Sorry, not BBQ not, setting up tents. But we might have werewolves. We could have the biggest werewolves session ever. And you will love it.

What's StartupCampKL08？
Startup Camp KL 08 is going to be the largest unconference for entrepreneurs and startups in Malaysia. Over 300 entrepreneurs from all walks of life and sectors are expected to congregate in two full days of ideas exchange and making connections. Startup Camp is held in conjunction with the Global Entrepreneurship Week and it will be on the only National Level GEW event. It will be on 22nd and 23rd November.

Being an unconference, this event is organized by participants for participants. There will be no keynotes address, no special guest and no long boring lectures. It will be jam packed with new ideas and opportunities. If this is your first time attending an unconference, be prepared, for this is an ultra casual event.

For Malaysia's very first Startup Camp. We have divided it into 3 tracks. These tracks comprises of the General Entrepreneurship, Social Entrepreneurs and Technopreneurship. We have allocated slots of 45 minutes for the participants to conduct their sessions.

The session type range from discussion to presentation to round tables to games to anything you can think of. For those participants who wish to contribute a session can book their session at our Wiki,

As for the rest of the participant, we all have two crucial task.

Number 1. Participants should be actively participating in the sessions and share with others. You can share with your friends details about startup camp before the event or you can share what you learn from startup camp after attending it.

Number 2. Vote with your feet. Do remember you can vote for each sessions with your feet. If you find you cannot contribute to the sessions or you cannot add value to yourself or the rest in the session, it is polite to walk out and drop in to another session. If you do not find session that you are interested, you can always add on the board to start and impromptu session.

Details of Startup Camp KL 08
Date: 22nd and 23rd November 2008
Time: 9 am to 8pm on Saturday and Sunday.
Venue: Plug and Play Center @Level 7, The Garden, South Tower.
Startup CampKL on Facebook

Well, if you really can't join us in KL. Then we also have BarCampJB(6-7 Dec08) and BarCampPenang(TBA) coming up.

Or if you are overseas, then you should look out for the Global Enterprenuers Week which will be held simatenously at various different locations worldwide, from 17 Nov to 23 Nov 2008. Check out the various locations.

Meanwhile here are some sneak peek of the event, photos and some videos from the last BarCampKL08. Only this time is less techie base.

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A wonderful Mother's Day

Yes, wonderful is the word. We had a wonderful family trip to the KL Bird Park at Lake Garden on the Mother's Day, instead of going to the cinema. I wanted to let Natalie and Max to experience(still too young though) the close encounter with the nature and birds.

Besides my in-laws also had plan on their own.

We left the house right after lunch, with the maid. And it took less than 30 min to reach the place and the traffic was really smooth. I guess most of the populations were in the malls.

When we reached there, there were also other families and the crowd was alright.

The admission fee was RM15 per adult with Mykad, and kids below three are waived. So we paid RM45, well the lady at the ticket counter decided to give a discount to our maid. What a lucky day!

The moment we entered the place, we were greeted by the colourful parrots and lovebirds. Some of the visitors were feeding them while others were taking pictures.











I quickly pointed at the birds and told Natalie,"Nat, come and see the birds..."

First time to the bird park, her eyes were gleamed with excitement and pointing at the birds, "Bird, bird..." she called out. The birds were flying around freely, and she wasn't afraid at all.

On the other hand, Max was a little overwhelmed by the flying birds, started to cry.
Not again? The other time when we brought him to IKEA, he chickened out when he saw the crowd. Well, we have to bring him out more often.

Max is the opposite of Natalie, who is a people person since she was a baby. She enjoys crowd, and like to follow us to "Gai Gai"(shopping).

Anyway, back to the bird park. The day was nice day to walk and get close to the nature. Besides, the place was very cooling too as there were canopies everywhere. And we had a good walk.





At the park, we saw many types of birds, there were Indian Blue Peacock, toucan, different types hornbill, ostrich, emu, flamingo and many others which I didn't have the time to memorize their names.

They also have a bird nursery, but we skipped that, as we were with the kids.

Apart from birds, they also coil fishes and beautiful man made waterfall, nearby that was where they house the flamingo. Have you seen a black flamingo? They have one. And the flamingo can stand actually stand on one foot.

They whole place were fenced, so the birds can't escape, but I guess most of them were born there and that was their habitat, and where would they want to leave.

At 12.30pm and 3.30pm everyday, they have birds show. Unfortunately we missed that.













Also they have a little playground, Natalie tried to the seesaw, the swing and the slide for the first time in her life. Only only at that moment I realized that we had never taken her to the playground behind our house. We should do that more often as she enjoyed her time there and reluctant to leave. And she cried and made a scene...Phew.

At last I had to tell her that we were going to get chocolate for her. Then only she stopped crying. I didn't lie to her, I actually brought some chocolate cream buns with us. And she ate 2 and half of those. Can't you believe it?

While Natalie was having a great time and laughing most of the time, baby Max was rather quiet as he spent all his time in the baby carrier. But he didn't complaint a bit, and when he was tired he slept in for a bit. When he got up , it was time for milk...

And we stopped by one side, and chow down on our buns.

After the break, it was almost four, and we were all tired and decided to go back.

On our way back, there was this BIG surprise for us. We caught the same Indian Blue Peacock showing off his iridescent blue-green or green coloured plumage. What a lucky lucky day!



I remembered that read it somewhere that it's a rare sight for a peacock to show off his plumage. I should have bought some 4Ds since we manage to see one on our first trip to the bird park.

Well, like I said it was a wonderful trip and we all had a great time and got plenty of pictures to show off... hahaha...

And I highly recommend you to bring your kids there. It's a fun place to be. You will not regret it. Bird flu? Nah...

More pictures and videos...

Natalie's 2!

Last Monday was Natalie's 2nd birthday.

Sunday night we had dad coming over and joined us for the family dinner.
The dinner was to celebrate Natalie's as well as FIL's birthday, which falls in April too. Two birthday one dinner. The family tradition.

After the simple dinner, before sending dad home, dad got to play with his two favourite grandchildren.



After seeing Max happily playing with granpa, Natalie also joined in the fun and let dad carried her on his laps. This girl... Before that she was afraid of dad.

I guessed dad really enjoyed this special moment with his grandchildren.





So the next day, which was Monday, DH and I were both on leave, so that we could take the kids out to IKEA. Phew! That was quite an experience...tiring, not that fun.

Max was overwhelmed by the crowd in IKEA, not that big though and he cried. So I had to carried him in the baby carrier, facing me, then only he settled down. Well, we hardly took him out for shopping. And I guessed he felt more comfortable having me close to him. It made me feel special though...

Meanwhile Natalie, who loves shopping, simply couldn't sit still in the stroller. She wanted to run around freely. But we couldn't let her. I have this losing-her phobia.

So when I let her out to try on the rocking horse. She was so exiting and refused to sit in the stroller after that. Having to carry Max and running after Natalie was taxing, even though just for that little while.

So after the snack, we decided to go home and rest.

In the evening we brought Natalie to the nearby CakeSense to buy her birthday cake. Well, she was still too young to know how to choose her own cake, though we let her tried.

Wait the minute, she did choose something that she liked to have, Yakult. She was pointing at the Yakult in the fridge when we asked he to look at the cakes. Kids generally have sharp eyes, right mommies?

So we bought the one that she pointed, a raspberries flavoured one.

And after dinner we sang her the birthday song and cut the cake. She still didn't how to blow the candles... maybe next year.

Overall she had a great day. I could tell her expression, maybe it's because DH and I were at home and we took her out for "Gai Gai"(shopping).

DolphineChannel

Have set up a YouTube Channel, DolphineChannel to share my two darlings' videos.

Will uploaded some of their older as well as latest videos there. Do drop by to check out the videos.:)

Another homemde video...

I was testing out the Window Movie Maker.

And I have to say that it's fun to use despite of some minor hiccups on the software. But what the heck, it's free and comes with the Window.

So I decided to edit a lil movie out of some videos I took on Natalie and Max. And added half a track to the movie.

Enjoy...

Disastrous Friday Night...

Just like always, when I thought things are getting better and decided to give myself a pat on the head, something horrible always pops out unexpectedly.

Just when I thought of having a quiet Friday night. Quietly get Natalie to bed, followed by Max, something unexpected happened.

I was trying to get Natalie to bed a little early tonight, by 10.30pm, before bringing the baby o up stair and get him ready for bed.

However when baby came up, Natalie was still awake. Suddenly baby cried, Natalie followed, like always. I'm not sure why? I'm guessing she was scared, of "dirty things" maybe. I mean dead people.

Well, the ability runs in my family. My mom and my brother both has it. Luckily my sister and I don't. Could it somehow got passed to my daughter? I'm just guessing. Why? The other day, DH and I brought her to Giant. While we walked near some CNY decor section, Natalie suddenly waved her hand, as if she was waving goodbye to someone. But when I looked to that direction, there wasn't anyone there... O.k it's creepy.

Also, there were times, at home, she would stare into the air like she saw somebody there. I'm getting goose bump here.

Or perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe she just afraid I would carry baby,and not her. I hope I was wrong about that whole I-see-dead-people thing

Back to where we started...

As for baby, I'm guessing he was crying for milk and missing me of course.

So I wanted to make milk for him and add some fever medicine into the milk, coz he just got his jab. His doctor asked us to give him one dose before bed, just in case.

And the medicine was in the fridge, and I needed to go and get it, since DH refused to go. He said he didn't where was the medicine. Fine! I'll take it, I thought.

But Natalie just refused to stay with her daddy and wanted to follow. I was mad at DH, for if he went and got it, it would be easier for me as I could stay with both children for a while.

So I went down with Natalie.

Like father like daughter, both are being difficult. Who suffer? Me of course.

I got pissed off and frustrated. So later I shouted at her after I failed to get her to sleep for a second time. I banged the door(bad move) Well, it startled the baby too as he thought I was shouting at him and began to crying very hard. Gosh!

Chain reaction. DH got mad too, and he blamed everything on Natalie. He came in to our room and scolded Natalie, who was already lying on the bed sobbing after I shouted at her.

Like adding oil to the fire, she cried louder and got really scared, and came clinging tight to me.

Poor girl. She was crying and crying. I guess she must have felt sad and thinking why mommy and daddy hate me so much. She cried herself to sleep in my arms.

After that I felt so miserable and so sorry for Natalie and Max.

Why things always have end up this way? Is Natalie a little too young to have a brother? She seems too young to understand the whole concept...

What can I do to settle all these problems? Instead giving Natalie a brother, I deprive her from the attention she needs from me.

Or should I just let my PIL take care of her instead?

Feel like one step forward, three steps back.

The best breastpump

Even though my milk isn't enough for Max after almost two months. But I have to say I enjoy breastfeeding Max.

My first breastfeeding experience with Natalie wasn't quite successful. And this time, I actually stayed back in the hospital to learn up the breastfeeding technique and tried to give Max a better head start for breastfeeding.

However the first day we came, things didn't turn out well. I was in pain as Max still couldn't latch on properly the right breast and could hardly latch on to the left breast. And immediately the next day I had take him back to see the paediatrician as he wasn't taking in enough and I thought he had bloody pee. Also he had this swollen nipples. And his jaundice seemed to have gotten worse.

Due to the soreness and the bruise, I was so afraid to put him on my breasts. And I started him on bottle and formula. For while he was confused and I was afraid that he wouldn't breastfeed anymore.

Worrying about that, we went back to see the hospital lactation assistants a few times. With their help, I managed to continue breastfeeding Max till today and he can latch on well. Though it's not an exclusive breastfeeding experience, but I'm still proud of myself as I managed to hang on till today. I hope to breastfeed as long as possible.

I can see that he enjoys it too. Sometimes he smiles contentedly in the midst of breastfeeding, or after that. It's wonderful experience and surely he's the best breastpump. ;)

Sleepless Morning

Since last feed, about 5.30am till now, I just cannot sleep. The nose is blocked again. Took a Piriton, but didn't work.

Looks like I have to try Actifed again. If it still doesn't guess I have to see the doctor again. :(

Besides, the whole family including the maid is in sick mode. DH is half way there and started on Actifed. Poor Natalie is having runny nose since yesterday, with a slight temperature. The maid was sneezing last night.

Not sure about my in-laws, I have told them to take some Actifed just in case, since they are very prone to flu, partly because they like to eat heaty food, especially curry and pisang goreng(fried banana).

And I'm praying hard for Max not to be infected. Poor baby, he's too young... Otherwise more sleepless nights and days for us.

Btw, just found this site which provides some reference on cold medications for breastfeeding. Quite useful.

Cry to sleep

Nowadays I let Max cry to sleep after the last feed of the day, at about 12 to 2am in the morning. I'll burp him, check his diaper, apply some minyak angin Yu Yi to warm his tummy and cuddle him close to me for some time. And if none of those work, I will leave him on his cot, off the lights and let him cry. Sounds a little cruel.

But I have to train him. I can overly pamper him.

I guess he is learning it too, as he'll normally cry for a while. If I don't response, he'll quiet down for a while and cry again. Then quiet down...

And finally he'll stop after about 10 to 15 minutes, look around, and fall asleep on his own.

I feel sorry for him though. But he needs to learn.

And all I need is patience...

It's heartaching to see...

Since the night before, I'm down with bad flu and terrible sore throat. I'm getting better though, with the stronger medications.

I went to see a doctor, he gave me some medicine I used to take during pregnancy, which are safe for breastfeeding. But they just not effective enough. So I decided to go for some stronger ones, like Actifec, which is really effective in getting rid of flu, and the Extra Strong Strepsils. And I stop direct breastfeeding Max since last night, though I tried. But luckily he didn't want it when I offered.

Coz this morning I called my GP to ask him about the stronger medication and found out that the Extra Strong Strepsils are not so safe for baby, as well as Actifec. They can cause agitation in baby. So the milk that expressed since last night have to be discarded and it's heartaching to throw them away, as every drop counts. However, I don't want to take any risk of making Max more agitated, as he is already one fussy little baby at times.

My daily routine...

12am - 2am
Trying to calm Max and get him to bed. If lucky he sleeps at 1-ish... He's a fussy baby at night. Sometimes, he fall asleep while feeding. The moment we put him on the bed, he gets up and cry for more. Sometimes, he just want to be held...

Sometimes I let him cries himself to sleep, since I can't find his reason.

2am - 5-ish
Sleeping hours... though sometimes we get lucky and Max gets up at about 6-ish for feeding... it depends.

5-ish - 7.30am
Feeding. Burping. Epressing Breatsmilk. You may wondering why I didn't breastfeed him at this hour, he always falls asleep... And it's faster to bottlefeed him and express the breastmilk. And I still have time to eat my breakfast or at least a cup of light oatmeal. Otherwise, I won't be able to sleep till at 8am or so.

7.30am - 11am, as late as 12pm
The moment I close my eyes, I simply couldn't open them as early as 11am. Of course in between, I drift in and out sleep when I hear Max's cry, who these days would be sent downstair ,after 8am, for MIL to take care.

12pm - 2pm
Feed myself. Surf a little while having my lunch. Breastfeed Max, if he awakes, or expressing the milk out. It normally takes about 2 hours, if I breastfeed him then top up with formula before I can bath Max.

The bathing takes about 30-45 minutes for the last two days. I need to clean his poos first.

For the last 2 days I have to massage him first with olive oil. Then let it soak for 15 minutes. Then rinse it off before bathing him in Eubo bath. Lastly clean his mouth.

Then wash and boil the bottles and breastpump again, sometimes I do myself, and sometimes the maid. If I do it I stand at the stove and wait for the things to boil for longer time. I'm very paraoid, espeacially the breastpump, I try to wash and boil after every use, except midnight.

2pm - 5pm
Sometimes I sneaked out to get my haircut, do facial, and body slimming. They are very time-consuming.

If I don't go out, I breastfeed Max myself, then express the balance milk out, then breastfeed him again for about 2 hours. After the breastfeeding, I have to top another 2 ounces of formula or EMB.

5pm - 8pm
If I'm outside, rush home to breastfeed him or express the milk. them wash and boil the breast pump parts.

If I'm at home, I would take a short nap. But haven't been able to do that, as sometimes, I would have itchy hands, trying to clean a few things in the room, or go online.

Then quickly take a shower.

Dinner time.

This afternoon, I slept through the afternoon after the flu medicine... feeling a little better, and my throat is not as sore as last night.

8pm - 1am
Feeding and expressing milk hours. I have to watch something to keep myself awake. I tend to fall asleep too at this hour whenever I breastfeed Max.

As usual, Max would fall asleep during breastfeed or bottlefeed(if DH feed him). We try to burp him before putting him on the bed. But the moment he leaves our arms, his eyes would open and become fussy. Either no enough milk or for cuddle.

So "Ee...at, Ee...at..." DH and I would feed, burp, calm, feed, burp, calm... It would 1am again, before we know it.

Max would be drink, sleep , cry, drink, sleep, cry... before he finally sleeps.

Sometimes, get lucky can surf a bit like tonight.

There goes a day... and same things everyday.

Oh no, it's yeast...

I think I'm having yeast infection on my breast.

I've been having this breast soreness during and after breastfeeding. I went to see the hospital lactation assistant, they couldn't identify the problem. I thought it was engorgement. But it wasn't.

But after what I read in kellymom.com today, I think it's what they called yeast infection.

I don't have crack nipples but breastfeeding makes them sore and painful. I need to see my gynae to tomorrow.

Meanwhile Max is having thrush too on his tongue. Poor boy. No wonder he has been acting weird sometimes when I breastfeed him. Sometimes halfway breastfeeding he seems have this vomitting sensation. And he would pushed himself away from my breast.

I just brought him to see his pae, and medications were given.

Besides, Max's face has eczema, and it's spreading to his body. *Sigh* This poor baby is having so much problems. Pray that he recovers soon.

A Blessed Natural Birth After Caeserean Journey 02

Since then every week I visited my gynae.

By 5 weeks(gestational) or 7 weeks (if counting from the first day of my last period, first week of Fed 2007), my sickness morning was surfaced but still bearable.

Our little embryo Max was still about a week smaller than its actual size and heartbeat was weak. And I had spotting and I was given some medication, which I was relunctant to take, and a weekly hormone injection, for 4 weeks, to boost my pregnancy hormone.

Later it was found that the spotting was due to uterus infection. More medications, antibiotics. Meanwhile with the hormone boost, Max's heartbeat was getting stronger.

However the worse has yet to come. Morning sickness became me and had to resort to anti-vomitting tablets.

Also I was getting bad nasal blocked. Sleepless nights and sleepy days. And more medicines.

This second pregnancy was like a riding rollercoaster, another spotting at week 16, which turned to be a false alarm. It was some kind hormone adjustment after I stopped my hormone pills. Then fear of baby Max having some birth defects and so on.

I have to say during that time, I couldn't myself whining and complaining about all those discomforts. But looking back I'm grateful that everything turned out alright, with a healthy baby in return.

So when most initial doubts were finally cleared, new worries; can I have a natural birth since I had a caeserean? It clouded my mind till the morning I was in labour, as my gynae also couldn't guarantee. Many times I asked her. But she didn't really answer my questions, even at my last follow-up. I knew that she didn't want to overpromise me.

I understand that all these pregnancy and childbirth issues are at will of God and blessing. No one knows what can happen. So the whole time I was praying. Hoping for an easy natural birth. I didn't want to go through another caeserean. As I fear most in caeserean is the pain when a urine bag was attached to my bladder and pulled out. Gosh! That short but sharp pain with possible bladder infection. I still can remember it clearly.

When the day finally came, that Saturday, when I had bloody show, I was having this fear inside me. I was wondering if I couldn't have a natural birth. I was praying for my water bag not to break before major dilation.

My gynae had warned me that I couldn't opt for epidural, due to my caeserean wound. She said most gynae prefer not to have that as if the wound give way, the mother would feel it.

While I was in labour ward waiting for the first stage labour to happen, I was praying and talking to Max, telling him to relax and take things easy. Just take one step at a time. He heard me I guess.

The contraction was there all the while but it was mild and I couldn't recogise it. Now I know what is contraction. I didn't really have it when I had Natalie.

Since my water bag was in tact, my gynae allowed me to wait for the real thing to happen... to be continue.

A Blessed Natural Birth After Caeserean Journey 01

I've been pray that one day I can write about this, to share with mommies who has ONE caeserean and would like to have a varginal birth in their next pregnancy.

Both my pregnancy were planned long before I even conceived with Natalie.

But after I delivered Natalie via caeserean, my gynae warned me that I shouldn't conceive within the first 6 months to avoid complications. I was worried that my initial plan of conceiving again when Natalie reached one would be ruined due to my caeserean wound.

So I followed my gynae's advice, took good care of my wound. When Natalie was 8 months old, I revisited my gynae to check if I could start trying again. Thank goodness she gave me the green light to go ahead. It was early January 2007. She said that we could start trying end of Jan or early Feb. And I'll be allowed to try for natural birth as the previous complications was because of fetal distress prior to my due date.

I was really excited and started to prepare for it, I mean eating right. I took the steam "Gao Li Shen"(高丽参) water, which is normally used by ladies who had miscarriage, to rejuvenate the womb for conception.

It was CNY, I thought I had missed my ovulation. But I thought just give it a try, hoping we could catch the last boat. However, little did I know that my ovulation was late that month due to my anxiety.

So happened the next day I fell sick due to food poisoning and I was given antibiotic, but I told my GP that I was trying to conceive, so she gave something safe.

Then a week or two later, I got on the wrong bed, and had a stiff. It was so painful, so I went to see a "sensai"(*TCMD). He gave acupuncture and some Chinese medicine which contain Red Flower(红花). In the old days, the Chinese use it for abortion.

I took the pills one day. Then I stopped with the feeling that I might have conceived, though I did five tests but all negative.

On 20 March 2007, my period still missing in action. With a mixed of hesitation and anticipation I repeated the test, as I still have this pregnant feeling. Finally I saw this very very faint second pink line. Quickly I took the test to my gynae. And she confirmed it with an internal ultrasound but she said that the 3 weeks old embryo Max was smaller than it should. It's either the conception was late or the pregnancy might be an unhealthy one. And she asked me to come back the following week...(to be continue)

Max, the crying baby.

Gosh Max is certainly a crier. He cries when is wet. He cries when he's hungry. He cries when he want to poo. He cries when he's colic. He cries and cries and cries, even after feeding. Gosh!

My plan always get ruined just when I thought he should resting and quiet, and I can do something like takinga nap. He will start crying. When I do everything I can to settle him, he still cries, certainly for comforting. So I comfort and he sleeps.

But when I thought he settles, thought closing my eyes, he starts crying again.

Now I'm wondering should I give him a pacifier. Frankly I HATE the idea, because it can confuse Max in breastfeeding, though he seems to have learned how to latch on better than before. And I hate to use it, coz my MIL loves to use it. And see what she has done to Natalie. She can't sleep in the afternoon without it, and my MIL still using that darn pram to rock her to sleep in the afternoon besides the pacifier. And I really hate that.

When Natalie was born, she kept pastering me to use it, as Natalie disturbed her sleeping when it's her turn to look after her. Now I don't know how to make Natalie get out of that habit when she is going to be 20 months old soon.

O.k back to Max. He seems to like sucking for comfort, I can't offer my breast for that, coz it will be a big problem to moment I'm going to back to work. But I really want to help Max to learn self-soothing without using a pacifier or sucking. How? I'm really clueless cow. Any idea, mommies?

Manage to find this site for tip on handling crying baby. But I'm not sure if they help or do I have the patience.*Sigh*

Reflux

The night before Max vomitted four times. So I decided to him to see Natalie's pae last night. According to him, Max is having something calls reflux.

Max has been like this on and off, but that night was the worst. Drink, vomit cry, drink vomit cry... Finally he was tired and he slept. Luckily through the night. However, I notice that he always goes a bit cranky approaching midnight, around 12 to 2am. Thank god other time he is fine.

So the doc gave us some medicine to get rid of the gassy stomach and asked us to change his supplement formula to the anti-vomitting one. Last night things were better, thoguh he was still a little cranky during those hours.

Max is rather manja(pampered) by nature compare to Natalie. And he cries a lot more than his sister, when she was three week old.

Natalie was a happy baby who drank a lot, burped well, no vomitting problem, neither a fussy baby. Except she tend to sleep too much in the day and she refused to sleep at night. So I had to hold her in my arm till 3am every night for the first 2 months. It took me a long time to train her to sleep normally. Those were the days. Max seems to have a better sleeping pattern. I hope Max stays that way.

Max's pictures

Some pictures of Max and Natalie's infant photos :)











More coming...

Which name should I choose?

I'm in the mid of deciding Max's Chinese name. Haiya, still can't decide on which character to use, as the the middle one will be the same as Natalie's, Xing(幸).

Hubby wants to register for him later in the afternoon. And I have been procastinating the job, since I was quite occupied with the baby and getting enough rest.

When it comes to deciding names, at times I just love it, because it's fun, but there are times, like now, I just hate it, because I can only choose one. *Sigh*

Finally he can latch on...

Ever since we came home from hospital, I could only breastfeed Max with one side, the right side, and not the other. Normally I just express the milk out from "the other side". I tried the football position, it didn't work. And it was bruised because Max couldn't latch on properly while we were still in the hospital.

But I just tried again after almost a week, and he managed to latch on properly. Really glad that.

Now I'm no longer one-breast Jack. And I can blog while feeding. Thank God. :)